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1x05 The Art of Being Cool
So, here’s what you missed on Glee: The Future of Us: Allegra liked Caleb, who was dating Margie, so she challenged Margie to a diva-off to win his love. When Caleb found out, he dumped Margie and told Allegra he didn’t want to be friends anymore. Meanwhile, DJ kissed Tommy, and Teagan has started dieting, and it’s beginning to cause her to lash out at her friends, including Ben. '' ''And that’s what you missed, on GLEE! There was a blast of loud music as DJ walked out onto the field. The Cheerio’s were currently stretching, and DJ looked the other way, because he knew Trinity Bolton had a thing about not wearing panties under her skirt. Robin, in a tank top and sweatpants that had so much animal print she looked like a zebra, was supervising. “Puckerman!” She shouted at Rowan. Rowan looked up – having been examining her charcoal black nails instead of doing jumping jacks because she just ''got a manicure – annoyed. “Do your warm ups!” With a roll of her eyes, Rowan bent down and began to do pushups. She did them with ease – one, two, three, four, and so on. Now, Robin focused her attention on DJ. While DJ loved being a Cheerio, his coach scared the shit out of him when she was pissed. “DJ,” She said sternly. “Where’s my head Cheerio?” DJ shrugged. “Margie? I haven’t seen her since the diva-off yesterday.” “Ugh!” Robin sighed. “I need her! That girl needs to stop being so selfish and get her ass to practice!” She ran a hand through her hair like she did when she was annoyed, and then turned to look at Rowan. “Puckerman, I need you to be top of the pyramid for practice today.” Rowan froze mid stretch, and her eyes practically lit up. Margie was ''always top of the pyramid, her foot constantly crushing Rowan’s shoulder. As Rowan went to her place, she caught DJ giving her the stink eye. She gave it right back, pulling her blonde hair back into a ponytail. DJ’s eyes followed her, his face smushed up into a scowl, until her back was turned. He had got to find Margie. GLEE: THE FUTURE OF US “I’m worried about her,” DJ said. He and Tommy were currently walking up the Bonner walkway afterschool. DJ didn’t want to go alone to find Margie, and since he couldn’t find Caleb and bringing Rowan would probably just irritate Margie, he thought Tommy was the next best thing. And okay – maybe DJ wanted to be alone with him. “Maybe she’s just sick,” Tommy said. He wasn’t sure about this whole thing, and was worried DJ would try to kiss him again. “Or is the great Margie Bonner immune to illness?” DJ shot him a look and rang the doorbell. “I’m surprised you even know the meaning of the word ‘immune’ and used it properly in a sentence!” A few seconds later, footsteps could be heard down the hallway, and the door opened. “God, what do you want –” When Margie saw who was at the door she froze, DJ and Tommy looking back at her in horror. She looked terrible – absolutely terrible. Margie was currently in a pair of too big pajama pants, a tank top that was rolled up and exposed her navel, and a sweatshirt that was falling off one of her shoulders. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and she had a bedhead, her blonde hair sticking up at odd angles. When Margie saw DJ and Tommy she quickly tried to close the door, but DJ reached out. “Wait!” He said, but Margie didn’t wait, and a second later he screamed out in pain when the door crushed his hand. Margie’s eyes widened. “Oh my God,” She said, reopening the door. “Oh my God, Deej, I’m so sorry!” DJ was currently cringing and holding his hand, and he didn’t notice Tommy move to check if he was okay until the other boy grabbed his hand. “Let me see,” Tommy said, and DJ didn’t resist, spreading his fingers out so Tommy could look. “Can you move your hand?” DJ nodded. “Umm, yeah,” “I don’t think it’s broken,” was Tommy’s verdict. “Let’s get you some ice though, okay?” He looked up at Margie. “Can we come in?” He asked her. Margie nodded. “Yeah, okay. Come on in.” ---------------------------------------- Margie walked into her living room where DJ and Tommy were sitting on the couch and handed them an ice pack. DJ started to reach for it but Tommy grabbed it first. “I’ll do it,” He said to DJ, and DJ didn’t object as Tommy gently pressed the ice against his hand. “So,” DJ said, looking from Tommy to his best friend. “What happened?” Margie looked down glumly. “Caleb was really mad about the diva-off between me and Allegra,” She explained. “He…he broke up with me.” “Oh my God,” DJ said. “Marge, I’m so sorry.” “It’s my fault,” Margie replied. “I did all that stuff.” “I can’t believe Caleb didn’t tell me,” Tommy was saying, most likely to himself. “That little…!” He shook his head. “I know you’re hurting, Marge,” DJ said, ignoring Tommy. “But this isn’t you. No offense, but you look like you just rolled out of bed.” “That’s because I did.” Margie said. “I was in my room watching Nicholas Sparks movies.” “What did I tell you?” DJ continued. “You have to show that boy the strong, independent woman that you are. You don’t need a man in your life, because you are so amazing all by yourself.” “Yeah,” Margie replied sarcastically. “Cause that worked so well the last time…” Okay. DJ thought. Time to break out the big guns… ''“Marge,” He began. “If you do not get your cute little butt back to Cheerio’s, Rowan Puckerman is going to become head cheerleader.” Margie perked up, genuine terror on her face. “Oh no,” She hissed. “That ''weirdo will not take my spot.” “Then come back to school,” DJ said. “And not as this sad, sweats clad, chick flick watching Margie. Come back as the strong, powerful, beautiful, HBIC Margie I know and love.” “How do I do that?” Margie asked. “I feel terrible!” DJ smiled wickedly. “I have an idea,” He said. “An idea that will most definitely make you feel like your old self – a makeover.” Margie smiled too. “Who’s the lucky guy or gal?” “I don’t know yet,” DJ answered. “But, we are going to find a prime candidate.” ---------------------------------------- “See anything you like?” Teagan looked up from the sales rack at the clerk who had just asked her this question. “Yes,” Teagan said, holding up a pink chiffon dress. “But I’d never fit in this.” The clerk gave Teagan an onceover, her bleached brow shooting up. “You?” She asked in disbelief. “You’re so thin! That would look so cute on you!” Teagan looked at the dress, hopeful, but that voice inside her head told her she wouldn’t fit in it. She placed it back on the rack. “Thanks but no thanks,” Teagan said. She held up a few bracelets she’d picked up in the front of the store. “Ring me up for these?” Please, your fat wrists would never fit. ''“Actually,” Teagan said as the saleswoman began to turn towards the register. “Never mind,” ---------------------------------------- After leaving the store, Teagan marched over to the food court where she was supposed to meet the rest of New Directions. Ben, Shawn, Elena, Rowan, Harlow, Tyler, Tommy and Allegra were seated around the table. No one had asked Margie or DJ to come, and Caleb had politely declined the invitation, most likely because Allegra was there. Teagan slipped into the open seat between Ben and Tyler, not saying anything. After looking at all these cute clothes that would look awful on her, she felt not only defeated but fatter than ever. “Do you want some food?” Harlow asked her. There were currently two pizzas on the table, one cheese and one pepperoni, several soft pretzels, and a dozen fountain sodas. There was no way Teagan was eating any of that. “I’m not really hungry,” She said politely. “I think I’ll just have some salad,” She reached for a plate across the table and placed it in front of her. Rowan shrugged. “Suit yourself,” She said, before picking some cheese off Harlow’s slice of pizza and popping it into her mouth. Harlow gave her a look. “High metabolism,” She responded. “Lucky me,” Teagan wasn’t paying attention to their exchange. ''A head of lettuce, ''She thought. '' 106 calories. 1 cup of shredded carrots – 35 calories. 3 ounces of grape tomatoes – 25 calories. And finally, ranch dressing – 73 calories a tablespoon. ''She could take off the croutons, and save herself approximately 47 calories. But as Teagan took her first bite, it still didn’t taste good. “You okay?” Shawn asked, seeing the cringe on Teagan’s face. “Does the salad taste bad because we can take it back –” “It’s fine,” Teagan cut her off, pushing the plate away. “I just think I’m gonna be sick.” She stood up abruptly, bumping into Tyler’s elbow and causing him to get pizza sauce on his shirt, and headed towards the bathroom. The rest of the table’s occupants cast confused looks at each other. “Is she okay?” Ben asked. Elena shrugged. “I don’t know,” She said, concern in her voice. “Should one of us make sure she’s okay?” “She’s probably just feeling ill,” Allegra replied. “When she gets out of there I’ll take her home,” She stood up. “I don’t really feel like shopping,” Then, Allegra went off to find Teagan. “Okay,” Rowan said. “Now what’s wrong with her?” “Caleb’s pissed at her for the whole diva-off thing,” Tommy explained. “Poor Allegra,” Ben said. “She had it coming,” Tommy said. “Caleb’s the quarterback, one of the most popular guys in school. She’s an annoying, loud mouth Broadway enthusiast. It was never gonna happen.” ---------------------------------------- Teagan retched one last time, her throat aching, and then lifted her head up so her forehead could rest against the coolness of the toilet seat. She inhaled and then slowly exhaled, closing her eyes before rising to her feet. She walked out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror, her face slightly green. “''Well I couldn’t tell you why she felt that way,” Teagan sang. “''She felt it every day, and I couldn’t help her. I just watched her make the same mistakes again. What’s wrong, what’s wrong now? Too many, too many problems. Don’t know where she belongs, where she belongs.” “''She wants to go home, but nobody’s home.” She sang. “''It’s where she lies, broken inside, with no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes, broken inside.” “''Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can’t find. She’s losing her mind, she’s fallen behind. She can’t find her place. She’s losing her faith, she’s fallen from grace. She’s all over the place, yeah oh. She wants to go home, but nobody’s home. It’s where she lies, broken inside, with no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes, broken inside. She’s lost inside, lost inside…oh oh yeah. She’s lost inside, lost inside…oh oh yeah.” There was a knock on the bathroom door, interrupting Teagan’s thoughts. “Teagan?” Allegra asked through the door. “Are you okay? I’m going to take you home now.” “Yeah,” Teagan called. “I’ll be out in a sec.” ---------------------------------------- Margie and DJ walked through the mall, on the lookout for a poor, unfortunate, badly dressed soul for them to make over. “Anyone?” DJ asked. “How about her?” He pointed to a woman by the directory with dyed red hair, a band T-shirt and fishnets. Margie shook her head. “No,” She said. “It should be someone who has lots of potential, needs my guidance and who knows us.” “Why do we have to know them?” “Because,” Margie snapped. “Unless you’re Clinton Kelly and I’m Stacy London, we can’t just walk up to a random person and offer them a makeover!” DJ frowned. “Well, why can’t we be Clinton and Sta –” “Shut up,” Margie cut him off. “There’s a reason that show got cancelled, you know.” The two friends kept walking for a few minutes, looking for a vic – blank canvas. Finally, Margie said: “Look!” Walking towards Margie and DJ was Ben, Shawn, Elena and Tyler. Shawn and Elena were fine – not exactly fashionable, but good enough – and even Ben who couldn’t see the clothes he put on in the morning looked presentable. Then, there was Tyler. The boy was currently wearing a pair of last year’s jeans, beaten up sneakers and a too big T-shirt with a nice, big stain on it that Elena was currently dabbing at with Wet Naps. Before DJ could comment, Margie had already intercepted them. “Oh my God,” She said, faking a surprised face. “It’s just the glee clubbers I wanted to see – do you guys mind if I talk to Tyler for a second?” Shawn and Elena exchanged a wary look, and finally Shawn grabbed Ben by the arm. “Sure,” She said coolly. “Come on guys,” She led Ben off, and Elena followed them, the latter hiking her purse a little higher up on her shoulder as she did so. Margie flashed Tyler a smile that made him think of a psycho murderer before they killed someone. “Hi,” She said with faux sweetness. “Hi,” Tyler said uneasily. “Do you need something?” “Not at all,” DJ said, walking to Margie’s side. “Tyler, we’re here to do you a favor.” “What?” Margie and DJ exchanged a look. “What do you think about a makeover?” ---------------------------------------- “Okay,” Margie narrated as she walked into the store, DJ loyally by her side and Tyler nervously trailing behind. “First, you need some jeans that aren’t totally out of style.” She held a pair up for Tyler to look at. “What do you think about red?” Tyler checked the price tag, and he felt his eyes widen. “These pants cost more than my house!” “God!” Margie scoffed, handing the jeans to DJ to hold. “Don’t be such a drama queen! I’m paying anyway!” “Her dad’s a lawyer,” DJ chimed in with a nod. He perked up when he saw a fedora display and went to go look at it. “DJ, focus!” Margie said to him with a snap of her perfectly manicured fingers. “We’re here to shop for Tyler, not for you!” “But, but,” DJ stammered, holding up one of the hats. “It’s plaid!” Margie shook her head and turned back to Tyler. “You’re going to look great,” She assured him. “Just wait until I’m done with you.” “''Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,” Margie sang. “''And let’s face it, who isn’t less fortunate than I? My tender heart tends to start to bleed.” She placed her hands on her heart and then made her way through the men’s section, handing Tyler shirts, pants, hats and shoes. “''And when someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over. I know, I know exactly what they need.” “''And even in your case,” She sang to Tyler. “''Though it’s the toughest case I’ve yet to face, don’t worry, I’m determined to succeed. Follow my lead, and yes indeed, you will be popular. You’re gonna be popular. I’ll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair, everything that really counts to be popular.” “''So let’s start,” Margie sang, pulling at the collar of Tyler’s old T-shirt. “''Cause you’ve got an awfully long way to go. Don’t be offended by my frank analysis, think of it as a personal dialysis, now that I’ve chosen to become a pal, sister and adviser. I know about popular and with an assist from me to be who you’ll be instead of dreary-who-you-were, well, are. There’s nothing that can stop you from becoming popu-ler-lar.” Margie shoved Tyler, now with an armful of clothes, into the dressing room. “''It’s not about aptitude,” She sang. “''It’s the way you’re viewed, so it’s very shrewd to be very, very popular like me!” Tyler stepped out of the dressing room in a plaid button down, relaxed jeans, and bright orange, canvas sneakers. Margie placed him in front of the mirror, smiling over his shoulder. “Why, Mr. Tyler,” She said. “Look at you, you’re handsome! You’re welcome!” She shoved him back into the dressing room to try something else on. “''And though you protest your disinterest,” Margie sang. “''I know clandestinely, you’re gonna grin and bear it, your newfound popularity. La, la, la, la. You’ll be popular – just not quite as popular as me.” ---------------------------------------- Tyler walked down the hallway with swagger. He felt uber confident in his new clothes. Tyler hadn’t made many friends since he’d moved to Lima, and now he was finally going to be popular! Ah, how good it felt. “Hey ladies,” He said to some Cheerio’s, who turned to look at him. They cast him disdainful looks. “''Loser,” said one, and her friends laughed as they all walked off together. Tyler frowned, but his face quickly snapped back into a smile. So who cared if a few cheerleaders snubbed him? That didn’t mean everyone else would turn him away too. He kept walking, and spotted Miss Corcoran, talking to Mr. Norton, Mr. Shapiro and Miss Draper. When she saw Tyler, she turned her head. “Wow, Tyler,” She said, taking in his ensemble – a new white shirt, well fitting jeans, and blue slip on sneakers. “You look great,” “I feel great, Miss Corcoran!” Tyler said with vigor. Before he could say anymore though, he felt the cool ice of a slushie dripping down his head, the red slush getting onto his shirt. Beth and Daisy both gasped audibly, while Tyler turned to look at the two, fleeing jocks who had dumped the slushie on him. “Oh my God, Tyler!” Daisy cried, reaching a hand up to cover her mouth. “Are you okay?” Tyler nodded slowly, suddenly feeling cold – very cold. “Great,” He said sarcastically. “Just great,” ---------------------------------------- Margie closed her locker and cast a glance over her shoulder. She could see Caleb at his locker, and she watched him, hoping to catch his gaze. Caleb turned his head slightly, trying not to make eye contact, and Margie was thinking about her next move when she heard footsteps behind her. “Hi,” Margie turned around, and standing there was Tyler, in a WMHS T-shirt and gym shorts. His hair and temples had turned slightly red. “What the Hell are you wearing?” Margie looked back over her shoulder, and much to her dismay Caleb wasn’t looking her way anymore. “I got slushied,” Tyler said sadly. “These were the only clean clothes I had,” He frowned, and leaned forward, as if trying to get a hug. “What are you doing?” Margie cried, backing up. “I want you to hold me,” Tyler said. “Margie…” He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Margie’s waist, the blonde’s hands still up in a ‘what the Hell’ gesture. After a moment, Tyler lifted his head up, grabbed Margie by the chin, and kissed her lightly on the lips. The minute Tyler pulled away, he felt Margie’s hand hit the side of his face, hard. “Oww!” He yelped, reaching a hand to his cheek. It felt like Margie had half-slapped, half-scratched him. “That hurt!” “You’re an idiot!” Margie practically screamed at him. “Why did you just kiss me?” “Because you gave me a makeover!” Tyler said in his defense. “I thought you liked me!” “I just got dumped by my boyfriend!” Margie cried. “I was trying to get my mind off it and do something nice for you! And now you’re hitting on me? Ugh! Like I’d ever go for a guy like you!” Tyler frowned. “A guy like me?” He said. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “You’re a socially awkward loser, Tyler!” Margie said. “No matter what you wear or how you style your hair you will always be a loser! Being cool is practically an art form, and it is an art form you will never master!” She turned on her heel and swiftly walked away, her pretty cheeks turning red – not unlike Tyler’s. Tyler stood there, frozen in embarrassment. So far today he’d been laughed at, slushied, and rejected. So much for being popular… “''If I could write a song and make you fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm.” Tyler sang. “''I used up all my tricks. I hope you like this – but you probably won’t, you think you’re cooler than me.” He strode down the hallway, head held high, not listening to any snide remarks or suppressed giggles. “''You got designer shades just to hide your face and you wear them around like you’re cooler than me.” Tyler walked into the choir room, finding the rest of New Directions and Beth already there. From the front row, Margie frowned at him. “''Shh,” He sang to her, earning an eyebrow raise from Caleb. “''I got you all figured out. You need everyone’s eyes just to feel seen. Behind your make-up nobody knows who you even are. Who do you think that you are?” He did a few dance moves that rivaled anything Justin Bieber had ever done, earning a few hoots and hollers. “''If I could write you a song and make you fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm. I used up all of my tricks. I hope that you like this, but you probably won’t – you think you’re cooler than me. You got your high brow, switch in your walk, and you don’t even look when you pass by, but you don’t know the way that you look when your steps make that much noise. Shh.” “''Cause it sure seems you got no doubts, but we all see, you got your head in the clouds. If I could write a song and make you fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm. I used up all of my tricks. I hope that you like this, but you probably won’t – you think you’re cooler than me. And you never say “Hey” or remember my name. It’s probably cause you think you’re cooler than me.” Everyone clapped for Tyler, but not Margie. Okay, so maybe Tyler Beatty hadn’t mastered the art of being cool just yet. But he was going to, and he was going to show Margie Bonner that she was wrong about him. His self-confidence hadn’t been like this since…well, since his parents lost their jobs. ---------------------------------------- '''Another chapter completed! Yay! Make sure to leave a comment and update pages. If you’re still reading, please leave a comment tonight – I’m not sure how many of the users on this wiki are actually still around. So, if you read this, post a comment so I know you didn’t die or something! xoxo' Navigation Category:Scripts Category:Season one scripts